Tiger Mom versus Unschooling Dad!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011 at 9:50AM Such is the sensational premise of tonight's episode of Extreme Parenting on the Dr. Drew Pinsky Show.
A TV producer called me at 1:15 PM yesterday and asked if I could be a guest on the Dr. Drew Pinsky Show at 5:15 PM to discuss unschooling. It turns out that the segment is titled Extreme Parenting and juxtaposes a “Tiger Mom” family with an unschooling family. I taped my short bit last night via a remote hookup. I couldn't see anyone I was addressing; I just had an earphone to let me know what the panel was saying and I looked into two white lights, a camera, and a sound booth. It was a very shallow "conversation" and I had to be encouraged by a director's voice in my ear to "jump right in" and start talking since the others were talking over me and I was being polite and listening. The panelists were pretty clueless about unschooling and uninterested in learning more about it. Of course, that didn’t stop them from expressing strong opinions against unschooling.
Lisa Cottrell-Bentley and her family were the subjects of a video that is shown during the segment, but it isn't clear to me if the entire video will play on the show or just the short bit I heard through my earpiece last night (about a minute long). From what I heard, at least this video segment is objective. It will be interesting to see how much of the video is shown.
The producer also asked me for family photos, and I sent some I had on my computer ASAP. Now I'm wondering how they'll be used during the segment. My family may carve me up for Thanksgiving tomorrow if they feel the photos and show put them in a bad light!
I have over thirty years of helping people unschool and unschooling our family, yet unschooling is still being presented by the media as a recent "crazy" idea where the children rule the roost and hapless parents do nothing but provide benign neglect. Not one question about John Holt, the educational basis for unschooling, or about other data about unschooling. As I learned again last night, TV is more interested in generating heat than light on a subject.
The Dr. Drew Pinsky Show airs tonight, 11/23/11, at 9PM EST on the HLN network
Reader Comments (8)
watched you on dr drew..would like more info on the subject,,iam horrible at finding contact info on comp, please email me i have a 12 year old iam interested in the program you believe in...ty talli you seem like a great dad n family...
I looked up your name after watching a clip on CNN this morning. I am in the midst of deciding to homeschool/unschool, and watching the debate has helped me make the decision to do so. The "tiger mom" did not seem to be aware of the state of public schools, the violence and disprespect within, the standard public school way of helping the children pass the tests without ever learning how to learn, and the fact that children ARE inquisitive by nature... until we suck it out of them. So thank you for being a guest, and I am sorry they railroaded you. I can honestly say your insight helped me.
We have no kids but I have always been interested in education, having grown up in the 60's thinking "is this all there is"? Was pleased to hear your reference to Summerhill. My aunt sent her daughter there in the 60's and I visited in 1969. It was very enlightening. I had read A.S. Niell's book and was quite impressed with the concept. However, I wasn't ready for the "screening" I would get from students.. Understandable I suppose since they were getting lots of people wandering through the school like it was a zoo. I was challenged pretty strongly by a couple of kids, trying to get my goat, but apparently passed the test by giving them, politely, as good as I got. Spent the rest of the day wandering through classes, meeting people, observing. I think you are on to something (as are a couple of our neighbors here in Bozeman Montana) with Unschooling. And oh my god, that Piscione woman was scary, not what she said so much but how she looked. Body language (and hair) that says "I'm maintaining a steady strain" (with a nod to the early astronauts). I think Kristen Wiig needs to play her in a skit. Cheers.
I also found your blog because of the Dr. Drew spot. He and his guests were completely clueless. But don't chock it up to a total loss - it seems several have found your blog from it and I also found your book which I requested.
I just watched the segment of Dr. Drew online and have to say that Mrs. Piscione (the opposing view) had no clue! It sounds as though she has never had a conversation with her children, or asked their opinion about anything, until (perhaps) they were "old enough". Seriously, her comment about how children won't ask to learn multiplication or how to read? Okay, so why does my five-and-a-half-year-old reads, and her three-and-a-half-year-old sister asked me to teach her to read? The five-year-old also loves math, and is always coming up with math problems (real life ones, using objects instead of merely numbers). I know my kids are smart, but have a hard time believing they're really that unusual. The idea that public (or perhaps private) schooling with a group of their peers is the only way for children to be successful in life is ludicrous! As she stated, the children in our country are slipping further and further behind the rest of the industrialized word academically. How on earth can the answer be to keep doing what we've been doing? The public schools here in my state (MA) are spending a great deal of time "teaching to the test"- the MCAS. In my opionion, this does the students a great disservice. How is knowing the answers to standardized tests going to help our children, or our country, compete on a global scale? In truth these tests are all about "saving face"- our government has a need to be able to say "look at how well our children did on XYZ tests!", with no thought of whether or not it's going to have a positive impact on our future. If we're going to continue to be the leader of the industrialized world we need to revamp our entire educational system, and until that happens the "trend" of homeschooling is going to continue to grow. And that is what's truly going to save our country.
i love unschooling and know a family whose bright, interested, engaged teenagers have been unschooled for years. on the other hand, i live in portland, and i know and see WAY too many families who are "misusing" unschooling and do in fact let their children rule the roost and be neglected. the results are not pretty and no one is happy, which is exactly the opposite of what should be happening.
is there any way to help these families? they think i am attacking unschooling . . . i guess i'm really just attacking them! they find it easier to hide behind the unschooling term rather than to face the reality of what they're really doing . . . and the effect that it's having.
Sorry it has taken me a while to respond to these good comments.
Tali, please send me your email address and I'll respond. You can also visit www.holtgws.com to learn more about homeschooling your 12 yr. old.
Kayte, Ken and Anne: thanks for your kind words and support. They are appreciated!
Dr. Grenier: I couldn't agree more. Homeschooling is not the whole answer to our education problems, but it is part of the solution as the mass-production model of education dies and the individualized model evolves.
Regan: I know what you mean and this has been an issue since the beginning of de-, home-, and unschooling. It is complicated on so many levels, not the least of which is that, no matter how you put it, you ARE criticizing someone's parenting, educational choices, and family dynamics with such comments. One thing I hope for is that we can create or find more and more places for children to be during schools hours besides homes or schools. I think the more we can figure out how to let children play and mingle with kids and adults outside of their family, this issue will be amelioriated. Further, I feel that good communication among all family members does not mean a tyranny of the child or of the adult.
Having been involved in legal proceedings via phone I agree that it is a significant liability to only have the audio to go on. I'm assuming what I saw online was the same as what aired. You have nothing to apologize for and the family photos only supported your case.
The host was certainly not neutral in the discussion leading the other guest with the comment "it makes me anxious". The question about college was asked as if community college was as far as your daughters were able to go.
For Deborah Piscione to call unschooing abusive is incredible! Her comment about kids who will someday "unwork" was absurd and shows no awareness of the increasingly unstructured nature of employment relationships.
Where did Dr. Karp's comment about a three year old having an equal voice in the family come from? Also, the platitudes about eating dinner together and not laying your issues on your children were totally off topic.
Final observation. Why was the husband even given a mic? He just sat and nodded like a bobble head who couldn't get a word in edgewise.
I'm seriously considering unschooling for my four children ages 6 to 11. I appreciate the information you provide.